07/21/09: 6 miles; cut short by rain.

I rode to J's house to "pick her up" for a ride along the trail. We engaged in so much conversation that I never thot to take one picture. We were going to ride farther, but the rain finally began to drop faster and faster out of the sky. We took a short cut to my house hurriedly putting her bicycle in my Element & my trike in the garage. Then we decided to go inside and visit for a while longer. Our hearts enjoyed this exercise. We got a full body work-out this evening.

I don't know why GOD allows paths to journey alongside each other for merely a season vs a lifetime, but I'm totally grateful for the season. I know that journeying alongside is a major part of GOD's reason (like, who am I to question why GOD does or allows anything? GOD is GOD and that's all that matters.). We can edify and encourage and exhort each other along the journey. I am awed by the depth of love GOD bestows on me. Even in HIS chastisement I've grown to feel loved. I couldn't see the love part of that as a child when I was disciplined. I'm grateful that my parents loved GOD enough and had the foresight to discipline me so that I grew to know, love, & follow Christ. My friend, J, provided respite for my weary soul tonight.

Today was one of those days when the weather (barometric pressure, to be precise) demanded that I take a "big" pill (literally it is quite small but powerfully big in relief). This happened last week, also, when a storm moved through. Today, while in the car, I was in conversation w/ my daughter (who was driving, thankfully) and could not focus of what we were discussing b/c all I could think was "go away pain, go away pain". The pressure around me seemed to prevent me from breathing and I was aware that I was drawing my body into a protective position (curling my shoulders inward and pulling my legs up closer and tighter - sort of like a sitting up fetal position). Somewhere in this self-absorbed awareness (all outside sounds became muffled) I garnered the wherewithall to state out loud that I needed to take a pain pill. Then I snapped out of this bodily retreat to find a pill. Within moments I felt normal (those who know me well, please don't laugh at me while I'm so vulnerable sharing this intimate experience) and able to engage in conversation again. There, now the vulnerable part is over so you can laugh away :-)

I'm not sure if this level of experience means anything other than I'm terribly grateful for drugs. I'll discuss it w/ my neuropsychologist and family dr at the upcoming appts. Last week, I thought that sensation was odd. Now that it's happened again, perhaps it isn't odd, but merely normal at this stage. Sometimes it seems like all the hospital drugs aren't completely out of my system. I don't feel like I have complete control over my thinking yet; kind of like amnesia, as I would think amnesia would manifest. Like the world is happening around me and I can't interact w/ it - I'm not fully awake to interact w/ it; more like an out of body (mind) sensation. I think amnesia has more to do w/ loss of memory; it's more like stunned, paralyzed memory. I don't know how else to describe this. The rat is running around the maze but it is hypnotized (tranced) and dizzy. It doesn't happen all the time, but enough times that I'm beginning to notice a pattern. Maybe this is as good as it's gonna get. Maybe there's something I can do to prevent this. I guess I need to look for a pattern of precipitation.

Rambling. I love my trike and having the ability to get outside on it.

Blessings Abound!
~A~

PS: the Indy ride was 8 miles, not 10. It seemed like 10 long miles.